The Organization of Maple Syrup Producers

Canada's Globe and Mail had an article in the Business Section about maple syrup. You know something's up when maple syrup makes it into the business section. Nobody I know thinks of it as a business; it' s been a hobby, a seasonal ritual, a family affair, maybe even a calling. But a business?

It seems the demand for the syrup is skyrocketing at the same time that production is tanking. Prices have gone through the roof and--voila!--those folks who yearn for the combination of cold nights and warm days that make the sap run can now earn a living at producing maple syrup.

Knowing this profitable situation isn't sustainable on its own, I propose that maple syrup producers unite and form a cartel. Anything that can make Kellogg's Frozen Waffles tolerable, if not tasty, deserves a fair price. Here's the deal: Quebec, my home and, as the Globe and Mail puts it, "the Saudi Arabia of Maple Syrup," (now there's a byline to appear on every Welcome to Quebec sign)--starts the (snow)ball rolling by initiating contact with Vermont. With Quebec and Vermont as the founding members, Maine and New Hampshire will beg to get in...and what, by the way, is the value of a cartel if no one's begging to get in?

In honour of my old Vermont friends and hardscrabble Quebecers who tap trees all across the province, I'll volunteer to be the first President of the OMSP (Organization of Maple Syrup Producers). All I ask is a lifetime supply of the amber elixer for myself...and my children... and okay, for their families too, whenever they have them.