Unions

Finally the garbage strike that stank up Toronto for 36 days this summer is over. The outdoor hockey rinks that discovered a secondary purpose during the strike can regain their dignity. During the strike, city pools shut down and summer camps closed, but now current union members can rest easy knowing they still have bankable sick days. In Ottawa this past winter, the bus drivers went on strike during the coldest time of the year. People bicycled in the cold and snow, or hitched or created carpools, but now the bus drivers can rest easy knowing they retain some control over scheduling. Screw the citizens, save my benefits. Welcome to Canada.

It pains me to write those last sentences. I’ve been a union-loving lefty for a long time. I was ashamed when Reagan smashed the Air Traffic Controllers union in the early 80’s. And I’m glad Canada has a stronger union environment than the U.S. where unions never fully recovered from Reaganism. Prior to the recent global meltdown, unions in Canada grew, according to Stats Canada, by 19% between ’97 and ’07, the largest growth since the ‘70’s. That’s nothing to sneeze at. Unions are far healthier here—and accepted—than south of the border.

What is to sneeze at, however, (and what turns my crank) is being out in the cold with no buses running in the height of winter, or having to breath in the stink of garbage in the height of summer. Helloooo? Detect a pattern here? Public unions know when to strike, and they express exactly no remorse about it. Zilcho. What, me sorry? For what? As to the outrage expressed by citizens about the timing of the strikes? It’s as deafening as the remorse expressed by the union membership. In Ottawa it just so happens that most folks are in unions in the federal government, so they can’t exactly bitch when their cheeks get frostbite bicycling to work because of a municipal strike. The hand that feedeth also taketh away, depending on which union you’re in.

Active unions, mild-mannered Canadians. Thank God I’m not in France... or this rant could go on forever.

Guns, Balloons and Moons

Unsurprising News Bulletin of the Week: In a study involving researchers from the U.S., Canada and Switzerland, the Criminology and Criminal Justice journal reported this past week that the majority of handguns recovered from crimes committed in Canada comes from the U.S.

The journal could have saved a whack of time and money by asking any thoughtful Canadian: “So, Mr. Canadian, where do most handguns come from that are used in crimes in Canada?” “Well, whaddya think I’m stupid, or something. They come from the States, eh.” You see how simple that is? Presto-chango, end of research. What we have known all along has finally become an incontrovertible FACT, and it is time for Canada to stand up tall and say “well, okay, at least they’re not semi-automatics.”

In the same week, perhaps to show their remorse for all the handguns, the U.S. launched a spy balloon in Michigan to spy on the city of Sarnia, Ontario. The balloon is shaped like an airplane wing and carries a $1 million camera sensitive enough to read the name of a ship from about 14 kilometres (9 miles) away. To be fair, it has not been put there by the U.S. government but by a private U.S. company, the Sierra Nevada Corporation, that hopes to sell the technology to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS). Surely DHS will buy it once they look at the spy balloon’s footage and realize Sarnia is full of crazy Canadians wielding handguns.

Not ones to stand idly by and accept unwanted U.S. suveillance, local Sarnians have decided to protest and give the balloon company a piece of their mind. That’s right—Sarnians are planning to drop their trousers en masse on August 15th and moon the camera. What did it say it can read from 14 kilometres away?… And if that’s not enough, here's an idea: why don’t those Sarnians aim their U.S. handguns at the balloon, bend over, and shoot from the moon.